For the Plant Parent Who’s Just Raw Dogging It

So… you bought a plant. Maybe two. Maybe twelve because you blacked out at the greenhouse again. No judgment.

You had the best intentions. You were gonna water it. Maybe even name it. You definitely told yourself this time would be different.

And now? Your Monstera’s melting, your pothos looks like it’s been through some sh*t, and you’ve got soil under your nails but still no idea what the hell you’re doing.

Welcome to the jungle, baby.

You’re in the right damn place.

Why This Kit Exists

This isn’t your typical plant care bullshit.

There are no rules, no perfectionism, no “you must water every Sunday at 9am while chanting to the sun.”

Because real talk? That’s not how most of us live.

This kit was built for the plant parent who’s trying to keep their foliage alive in between neurodivergent spirals, parenting chaos, burnout naps, and forgetting where the hell they put the watering can (again).

It’s for the ones who want to understand their plants—not just hoard them and hope for the best.

And most of all?

It’s for the ones who want to laugh, learn, and get their hands dirty without being made to feel like they’re doing it wrong.

How I Got Here (aka I Used to Be a PLURDERER)

I didn’t wake up one day magically knowing how to care for plants.

I killed them. A lot of them.

I bought the pretty ones, panicked when they got pests or crispy leaves, threw them out, cried a little, bought more… rinse and repeat.

But here’s what changed:

I stopped trying to do plant care the right way.

And I started doing it my way.

Messy. Raw. Neurodivergent as hell. But also… effective.

Meet the Chaotic Plant Parent Survival Kit

This is not a cute little guide you’ll forget exists after skimming page one.

This is a full-blown digital chaos toolbox made up of:

• 
  

  6 juicy-ass full guides that teach you how to rehab, repot, build moss poles, set up lighting, and keep your damn plants alive

• 4 unhinged DIY mini guides for the chaotic hackers in the room

• Tracking sheets that actually make sense for our chaotic brains

• And a whole lot of “oh sh*t, I wish I knew that sooner” kind of tips

It’s not sugar-coated.

It’s not gatekept.

It’s not aesthetic perfection.

It’s real, raw, and built for chaos—just like the plant parent using it.

So What Now?

If you’ve ever whispered “I have no idea what I’m doing” to your fiddle leaf fig…

If you’ve ever felt like everyone else has it together and you’re just winging it…

If you’ve ever wished plant care could be a little more… forgiving?

This kit is your sign.

Your survival.

Your slightly feral bestie in PDF form.

Let’s F*cking Grow

We’re just getting started.

Over the next four weeks, I’ll be dropping chaos, giveaways, hot takes, and brutally honest truths about what it really means to be a plant parent.

So whether you’re here for the hacks, the humor, or just trying to keep your plants from unaliving themselves—

You’re in. You’re home.

And the chaos? It’s welcome here.

Now go grab your kit and let’s make some damn growth happen.

BUY THE KIT HERE!

👉🏻 Follow along @RedefiningFoliage for the rest of the chaos

👉🏻 Tag a friend who also raw dogs plant care and needs this in their life

with love,

Britt X